Mood: Chilled.
Music: Blue October – Into the Ocean
I’ve had the most stressful and emotional past few weeks.
It’s a week into the Easter Holidays so I thought it was time to explain in full why I haven’t been blogging or updating, or showing any form of life whatever.
I’m finding the work load with college extremely stressful, especially my Art and English. Fortunately I’ve finished my Art, EPQ and Photography exams (Apart from EPQ, as it has no exam), so I guess it’s a huge stress off my shoulders. A few weeks ago, a while into my Exam time for my Art (we have 6 weeks to prep coursework, then 8 hours for an exam to produce a final peice) my art teacher was fired/asked to leave for innapropriate behaviour towards students our age (16 – 18); Things such as talking about his sex life, drugs, etc, and basically crossing the line between the teacher/friend barrier. I knew he did this, I just didn’t put two and two together with thinking it was inappropriate, it was just how I thought he was. Him getting fired was a kick in the balls, he predicted ALL my artwork at an A/B, which I was pretty amazed at, so when our old teacher came back from maternity leave, she went through all my work and says I’m at a B now – which was a huge stab in the back as all the hard work I’ve been putting in since september to get this A seems pointless, and it’s worrying how much more work I’ll have to do to get an A. I know exactly the things I need to improve, and I summarised it into one quote-type-thing:
“Don’t give up on anything. Make it perfect, make it work. Sometimes choosing the easy option isn’t the best option”
.. so I guess I need to get that quote tattooed on my hand or something for the next year. I was quite upset at my B, but not as upset as my English. It’s basically the same story (no teachers getting fired, etc) but no matter how much I try I’m always getting Ds, whilst the girls in my class who hardly come into lesson are getting Bs and As? I have learnt nothing since September, so I’m getting a tutor. I swear to God if my English teacher tells me I’m not trying one more time I’m going to punch her in the face. How dare she say I’m not trying when I’m revising and ‘trying’ my ass off here, even going to lengths to get a tutor, which isn’t cheap. I’m not dropping the subject next year for a reason, as I want to prove to myself I can get at least a B in my English A-Level.
The only subject I’m happy with is my Photography, as I’m getting solid A’s in that subject. Same with my EPQ, but I’m not sure about my grade. Infact, I need to get in contact with my EPQ Co-ordinator, so I know when to put up a new layout on the Art Departments website (so if I put up a new layout up too soon, my research and print screens and recording will mean nothing).
So yeah, you can tell I’m a little stressed.
My last blog before my site was infected with malware was to do with me losing my virginity, and saying it was slightly uncomfortable. For those who are interested, it’s ‘fixed’ hehe. 
I don’t regret waiting 14 months with Ben to have sex, infact I’m pretty proud I waited that long. It’s almost a year and a half for us and we’re as strong as ever, even if every so often we piss each other off and get ridiculously upset thinking we’re going to split up.
*loving sigh*
Saturday was one of the best days of my life. But I’ll talk more about that in my next blog, as I need to get the pictures developed (35mm film & Smena 8M, fuck yeah!) so I can show you them all. :3
C4MMENTS
She’s the one with the blue in her hair, and her baby (Brooke) is being held in the 4th picture by Craig – Craig isn’t her Daddy, he’s just holding her. 
x