Mood: meh
Music: Profound Moments in Left 4 Dead Episode 22

This is going to be a really mixed up post.

So basically, Italy was absolutely amazing as you can probably tell from the pictures. Everything was so beautiful, even the back streets, which I’ve taken a picture of above. I’d take some pictures of my artwork I did over there but at the moment I’m currently working on getting an online portfolio up and running so you can see everything much easier then.

I’ve had a rough week. I’ve been kicked out of 70% of my English A-Level lessons because I fell out with a teacher big time… and I mean it. I couldn’t concentrate in the lesson (I’ll tell you why next) so she asked what was wrong. I, politely, told her I felt the work was being dragged out a bit and I felt it was becoming monotonous. She screamed at me, “HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY LESSON!…” so I replied with “Alright, alright” mainly trying to get her to stop shouting at me. She carried on screaming at me, and said “NO ANNABELLE IT’S NOT ALRIGHT!” .. and at that point I snapped.
I turned around, shouted to her “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO BE? I POLITELY SAID TO YOU WHAT WAS WRONG, I DIDN’T SAY ‘UGH YEAH THIS IS BORING’ I POLITELY GAVE YOU MY OPINION. SO WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO SAY?”.
She started crying, ran into the English office/cupboard and then everyone else in my lesson started having a go at me. I ran out, after one girl shouted after me not to go off in a huff and a puff. What the fuck should I have done? Stayed there and made it worse?! So yeah. I skipped the rest of the lesson, met up with my Sixth Form Leader and she thinks it’s best if I stay out of her lessons. Which contributes to 70% of them over a 2 week period, we have 30% of lessons with a seperate teacher.

I feel fucking awful.

What’s worse, I went to the doctor today about me possibly having depression. I talked it through with my counsellor, the school nurse, my SFL, and they all agreed it would be best to go see her. I basically broke down in the office crying, explained what’s happened during the last few months and she’s signed me up to get some blood tests done this Thursday and a follow up appointment on the 21st. I’m also being reffered to a 16 – 19 year old specialist place where they deal with that stuff almost every day, so they definately know what they’re doing. That’s why I couldn’t concentrate in lesson, the thought of me possibly having depression over everything which has happened was worrying me awfully. I feel so ashamed of myself for still being in this situation 3 months on (yes, 3. wow.) and Ben is the one who has moved on, and is getting on with the rest of his life perfectly well without me. I sometimes feel more like a burden sometimes than anything else.

Jesus. I need a hug, a cup of tea [2 sugars, plz], and a chick flick movie marathon. Preferably where the guy dies horribly. Maybe change that to a horror movie marathon, hahahaaa.

On a positive note, I went to Becci’s 18th on Saturday. Danced, drank vodka(!), and had a good time. Ben wasn’t at this one, so I think it made it easier. Woke up with a killer stomach ache the morning after, which for those who have me on facebook, you probably saw I predicted at stupid o’clock in the morning when I finally got in .

I’m applying to Universities now, too. Fuck it’s scary. Can’t believe I’m going to be 18 in less than 4 months. shiitttttt son

Question:  does anyone fancy the idea of becoming my pen friend? Just something to do over winter, or 2012.